Recognize the signs, be the light

What to look for

Abuse can result in functional, emotional and behavioural changes in children. It's important to know what to look for and pay attention when a child begins to show signs that have no reasonable explanation.

Things to look for include:

• Sudden changes in behaviour, performance or emotion

• Unexplained marks or bruises, or explanations of how the injuries happened that don’t match what the injuries look like

• Extreme behaviours like aggression, avoidance or withdrawal

• Sexual knowledge or behaviour beyond a child’s stage of development

• Children who don’t want to be at home or who run away from home

• Always hungry, sick, or not suitably dressed for the conditions or environment

Every child responds differently to abuse but these signs can be indicators that something is happening within a child’s life that needs to be explored further.

Types of abuse

Abuse can take many forms. Understanding the types of abuse that children and youth often experience can help you recognize when abuse is occurring.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is an attack on a child’s self-concept or self-worth. It can include things like rejection, criticism, threats and humiliation; deprivation of affection; exposure to domestic violence; and exposure to chronic alcohol or drug use. It is a pattern of ongoing behaviour and often occurs alongside other forms of abuse.

Physical abuse

Any act causing trauma or injury to a child’s body amounts to physical abuse. This is the most visible form of abuse, and it often results from severe corporal punishment. Physical abuse is a pattern and often grows more severe over time. 

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is the inappropriate exposure or subjection of a child to sexual contact, activity or behaviour. It can include “non-touching” activities and exploitation.

Neglect

Neglect occurs when a caregiver or guardian is unable or unwilling to provide a child in their care with the necessities of life, such as food, clothing, shelter, essential medical treatment, education or adequate supervision. In general, neglect is failing to provide basic care and, at a more fundamental and painful level, failing to provide love and affection.

How to respond

When child abuse is exposed, we often learn that people had suspicions but were too uncertain or afraid to do anything about them. It’s important to know that if you suspect abuse, you have a responsibility and a legal duty to report it.

A child may come to a trusted adult because they believe you can help. It’s common to feel panic, fear, hopelessness, disbelief, anger or sadness. But it’s also important to set aside personal feelings and stay calm. Initial reactions are critical for the child's path to healing.

Listen and believe

Allow the child to do most of the talking. Disclosures rarely come in clear statements. If you need more understanding about the context, use an open-ended question or phrase such as “tell me more.”

• Do not investigate for details once you suspect abuse

• Reassure the child that telling you was the right thing to do

• Explain to the child that you will need to tell someone who can help them—you cannot keep it a secret

Document any comments verbatim, including those made by the child, parent, caregiver and anyone else relevant to the situation.